Thursday, July 7, 2011

Michael Jordan is stupid, and that's kind of okay

Last Thursday, there was an article on Deadspin about the discovery of a letter written by 18-year-old Michael Jordan to his high school sweetheart. The letter was written atrociously, containing sentences like "I know that you feelings was hurt whenever I loss my necklace or had it stolen." and "Everyone think you are a very pretty young lady and I had to agree because it is very true." It was both poorly written and rather egotistical.

If I were to guess from this letter (perhaps employing a little bit of eisegesis), little MJ wasn't the brightest crayon in the high school box. Yet, look at him today: He sports a Hitler 'stache without condemnation, stars on Hanes commercials inexplicably located on airplanes, and, oh yeah, he's retired from being the indisputable greatest at what he did (which, I hope I don't have to tell you, was play basketball). In other words, he did all right, despite being incapable of constructing proper verbs at the age of 18.
Now, take a blogospherical Segway with me to the present-day debate of whether or not collegiate athletes should get paid. If taken, this step would essentially eliminate the already frailly secured title of "student-athlete." Athletic directors love to shove it down the world's throat that these college-aged individuals are students first and athletes second. Yet, we all are under the impression that most of them are focused solely on sports and get favorable treatment in academia. And we're totally fine with that — mostly because of this argument: They're going to college to prepare themselves for their careers, and sports is their field of study. This is why it doesn't matter that Michael Jordan is (or at least was) stupid. A college-aged future MJ needs to be smart (at least outside of knowing how to manage his forthcoming extravagant finances) as much as I need to know how to dunk. It'd sure be nice if I could, but it's not gonna affect my non-dunk-related career path.

So, in this sense, I say we drop the bullshit. Not that I'm saying pay college athletes —that's a completely different discussion — but I do believe we need to quit trying to act like the Cam Newtons of the world really give a shit about math class or that they need to.


That said, not everyone is a Cam Newton. Not every kid who tears up the high school gymnasium is going to go on to be the next Derrick Rose. Rather, the vast majority of them will not. Which means, no, it doesn't matter that Michael Jordan was stupid as an 18-year-old, but it does matter that other 18-year-old athletes are stupid because they are not Michael Jordan. The academic free pass student-athletes seemingly get in college is increasingly (again, seemingly) taking place in high school. And this does matter. Little Johnny Quarterback might be the pride and joy of Podunkville, Kansas, but there's a better chance of him being the next Ryan Leaf (if he even gets that far) than John Elway. There's a damn good chance he'll have to work an actual, non-athletic job someday, and he needs to get an actual education just in case that actually happens, god forbid.


So, the question is: how do we know when Johnny Quarterback becomes Cam Newton (the point where it's pretty certain he will be able to make a living off playing sports)? Does the NCAA say, "If you're a first-team All American, you don't have to go to class."? Do we have Mel Kiper come in and tell everyone if they're good enough? Actually, that would be pretty cool. But ultimately, I think the key components are education, personal responsibility and transparency. Education: Let the college athletes know, yes, you're one step away from making a living by playing sports, but regardless of how much of a hotshot you think you are, there's a damn good chance you won't make it to that level. Personal responsibility: Let the athletes choose to focus solely on sports (and maybe some personal finance and health classes), but let them know it's entirely their decision and responsibility to take this route. Transparency: The NCAA should stop pretending that those who make that choice are students and acknowledge that they are full-time athletes.


That's my proposition, at least, and it would help the NCAA get the whole student-athlete charade out of the way so it can focus on more important things. Like how many Hummers these guys are getting paid to come to USC.

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