Rage Against "The Machine" Leaving

The St. Louis Cardinals recently failed to re-sign Albert Pujols by his self-induced spring training deadline. They ludicrously offered a salary in the top 10 of MLB salaries but not in the top five. Albert created the deadline to keep the focus on baseball, not salary talk, during the season. He actually did the opposite. I don't know if that was just a mistake on his part or why the club offered so little. As a diehard and lifelong Cardinals fan, I do know this:

First off: I want them to re-sign Pujols NO MATTER WHAT. Give him $300 million. Give him ownership stake in the franchise. Give him the fucking Arch and half of the Mississippi River, goddammit. I DON'T CARE. They just have to re-sign the man. He has meant everything to Redbird Nation these past ten years, quickly progressing from haha-did-you-hear-the-name-of-that-new-rookie status to holy-shit-this-guy-is-legit-fucking-retire-Barry-Bonds-so-he-can-get-his-goddamn-MVP and there's-God-and-then-there's-Albert-and-not-necessarily-in-that-order acclaim.

Second: It probably won't be worth it. This guy is asking for a ten-year deal, which would end when he is 41 years old. In other words, 52 in Domincan Republic years. That's just a joke, but honestly it is a real possibility that this guy is older than he says he is. Look at Miguel Tejada. Or Akon. José Alberto matured mucho rápido, and for all GM John Mozeliak knows, he could end up with Chris Chelios at the end of this deal (Non-puckheads: Chris Chelios is really old. He went to college with my dad. He also just retired.). Even if Albert is only 31 — which is not exactly "only" in baseball years if you're not Barry Bonds or Big Papi, both of whom were on steroids — the money it would take to keep him would probably decimate the Cardinals' budget for the next decade. They already have Matt Holiday tied up, and with lotsa dollaz being spent on not-so-lotsa playaz, team depth would probably be compromised — and it's not like St. Louis has a great farm system to fall back on. In other words, the club would probably have to capitalize on its solid core in the next few years if it were to collect another World Series trophy in the '10s.

REVIEW: "Kiss Each Other Clean" - Iron & Wine

I know I said I wasn't gonna post reviews here anymore, but I wrote one for a newspaper, and it turned out they assigned it to two people or something like that. So here's my review of Iron & Wine's latest, "Kiss Each Other Clean."

When it comes to beards and folk music, Sam Beam’s supremacy is about as unquestionable as the president of Egypt’s (don’t do it, you’ll lose your Internet). [I wrote this before Hosni Mubarak gave any indication of stepping down. It wasn't funny then either.]

The Iron & Wine frontman has had the homeless-musician shtick down pat since releasing The Creek Drank the Cradle in 2002. Be it the sparseness of his debut or the lushness of the acclaimed The Shepherd’s Dog, Beam has an intimacy that could only be heightened if he were to whisper into his microphone.

Kiss Each Other Clean, Iron & Wine’s latest album, takes a whole new direction. Beam’s delivery, while more spread out, is esquisite as always, but at times it’s no more Mr. Nice Beard: “And it’s looking like you better do what they say. / Those monkeys uptown, they told you not to fuck around.” The most noticeable difference with this record (besides the presence of thug chimpanzees, of course) is its instrumentation. Rather than primarily using acoustic guitar, there is an influx of marimba, synth, tribal percussion, saxophone and flute — as if someone gave Beam a big gift card to his local music store for Christmas.

Along with a new sound, Kiss tries on a new style; there are distinct elements of jazz coloring the album. Usually more production is looked at with disdain, but when the starting point is as low-key as Iron & Wine, production can be added without having the result sound like Ke$ha. The funky foundation is a strange turn for Beam, but when he’s at his best here, it’s certainly a sight to see (or hear). It’s kind of like in movies when the shy girl gets a new haircut and takes off her glasses. She was really pretty before, but now… Damn.

Beam hasn’t shaved, but his new look is quite stunning — not as a standalone gem, but as a tantalizing step in a new direction.

4 out of 5