IBS's Best of 2011: Best of the Rest

Well, this brings us to the final list of the year. Looks like I squeaked in just under the buzzer. Maybe I shouldn't have put this off for 365 days... Try not to take this hodgepodge too seriously, and have a great 2012!


Top Ten Moments That Had Something To Do With Music:
10) Coming to the realization that "Pumped Up Kicks" and "Cleveland Rocks" are the same song.
9) Justin Vernon covering Bonnie Raitt on Late Night With Jimmy Fallon.
8) People finding out who Tyler, The Creator is. Then finding out he's really homophobic. Then not caring.
7) Lana Del Rey's lips.
6) When "Midnight City" was on that Victoria's Secret commercial. Or just that Victoria's Secret commercial...
5) When Fitz and the Tantrums played "Steady As She Goes" at the Roots N Blues N BBQ Festival.
4) When Julia Bush played "Santa Baby" on the ukelele at the Christmas party (had to be there).
3) @robdelaney: "The title of the new Coldplay album is the noise Gwyneth Paltrow makes every morning when she sits on her sapphire bidet. #MYLOXYLOTO"
2) When our president killed Osama bin Laden with his bare hands and then wrote a rap about it.
1) "Is it too soon for Japanese girls? Too tsunami?"

Ten Worst Moments That Had Something To Do With Music:
10) When Jack Black covered Mozart with Insane Clown Posse.
9) When people were mean to Rebecca Black.
8) When Lupe Fiasco thought it was OK to rip off Modest Mouse.
7) When the Grammys thought giving Arcade Fire an award would make up for how much the rest of the Grammys suck.
6) When the guy who sings "Teach Me How To Dougie" died.
5) Born This Way
4) Why exactly were we shufflin'?
3) And what the hell was Mick Jagger doing on a will.i.am song?
2) That part of the year when the Black Eyed Peas hadn't broken up yet.
1) What do you mean they're only on hiatus?!

Other Album Titles Considered By Kate Bush Before '50 Words For Snow' (right):

•Frenched by Frosty
•Two Words for Schadenfreude
•Why Do Snowwomen Have So Much More Realistic Figures Than Snowmen?




Nine More Album Covers You Can Print Out If Your Color Ink Cartridge Is Empty:
•Kaputt by Destroyer
•LiveLoveA$AP by A$AP Rocky
•Replica by Oneohtrix Point Never
•Awake EP by Trash Talk
•Tomboy by Panda Bear
•"House of Balloons" by The Weeknd →
•Smoke Ring for My Halo by Kurt Vile
•Wounded Rhymes by Lykke Li



One Album Cover You Can Recreate If You Have Microsoft Word:
•Father, Son, Holy Ghost by Girls →

Favorite EPs:
•Freaking Out by Toro Y Moi
•Just Once EP by How To Dress Well
•Family of Love by Dom
•James Drake by Bombé and Mr. Caribbean



I Asked Some People On Omegle What Their Album Of The Year Was. Top Five Responses:
5) "Ceremonials" by Florence + The Machine
4) "Tha Carter IV" by Lil Wayne

3) "Under the Mistletoe" by Justin Bieber →
2) "21" by Adele
1) "ASL?" by 17 M Looking For Horny F

Eight Songs That Start With The Letter "L," Arranged On A Scale From Aziz Ansari's Impression of Kanye Saying 'These beats are dope!' to This Song Is Actually A Cappella And Has No Beat Whatsoever:
"Lord Knows" by Drake feat. Rick Ross

"Lift Off" by JAY Z and Kanye West feat. Beyoncé

"Life on the Nickel" by Foster the People

"The Liftaway" (preferably live) by Walk the Moon

"Lights" (preferably non-dubstep) by Ellie Goulding

"Let England Shake" by PJ Harvey

"Lovesong" by Adele

"Lindisfarne I" by James Blake


Three Girl Power Moments That Drove Me Crazy:
•When Madeline from Cults sings, "So fuck you," at the end of "Never Heal Myself." Yeah!
•When Annie Clark asks, "What is so pressing you can't dress me, anyway?" in "Dilettante." Gah.
•When Merrill Garbus hits those high notes in "Powa." Wow.

RIP:
•Clarence Clemons ↓
•Gerard Smith (bassist, TV on the Radio)
•Amy Winehouse
•LCD Soundsystem

IBS's Best of 2011: Top 25 Albums of 2011

25) Real Estate - Days
24) Panda Bear - Tomboy
23) Frank Ocean - Nostalgia, Ultra
22) Destroyer - Kaputt
21) Beyoncé - 4
20) Iron & Wine - Kiss Each Other Clean
19) JAY Z and Kanye West - Watch the Throne
18) Beirut - The Rip Tide
17) Smith Westerns - Dye It Blonde
16) Cut Copy - Zonoscope
15) M83 - Hurry Up, We're Dreaming
14) James Blake - James Blake
13) The Antlers - Burst Apart
12) The Weeknd - Houes of Balloons
11) Yuck - Yuck
10) Youth Lagoon - The Year of Hibernation
9) Toro Y Moi - Underneath the Pine
8) Girls - Father, Son, Holy Ghost
7) St. Vincent - Strange Mercy
6) WU LYF - Go Tell Fire to the Mountain
5) Cults - Cults
4) Drake - Take Care
3) tUnE-yArDs - w h o k i l l
2) Bon Iver - Bon Iver, Bon Iver
1) Fleet Foxes - Helplessness Blues

IBS's Best of 2011: Top 50 Songs

A lot of songs came out this year. These were my favorite.

50) Drake feat. Lil Wayne - "The Motto"

49) Neon Indian - "Polish Girl"

48) tUnE-yArDs - "Powa"

47) Toro Y Moi - "Elise"

46) Cut Copy - "Take Me Over"

45) Kurt Vile - "Jesus Fever"

44) M83 - "Raconte-Moi Une Histoire"

43) Real Estate - "It's Real"

42) Big Sean feat. Kanye West and Roscoe Dash - "Marvin Gaye and Chardonnay"

41) Yuck - "Shook Down"

40) Panda Bear - "Last Night at the Jetty"

39) The Very Best - "Super Mom"

38) Smith Westerns - "All Die Young"

37) Britney Spears - "How I Roll"

36) The Rapture - "How Deep Is Your Love?"

35) Destroyer - "Chinatown"

34) Girls - "Vomit"

33) TV on the Radio - "You"

32)EMA - "California"

31) The Antlers - "I Don't Want Love"

30) The Decemberists - "Down By the Water"

29) Childish Gambino - "Break (AOTL)"

28) Fleet Foxes - "Grown Ocean"

27) Drake feat. Nicki Minaj - "Make Me Proud"

26) Bon Iver - "Minnesota, WI"

25) Tyler, The Creator - "Yonkers"

24) Beirut - "The Rip Tide"

23) M83 - "Midnight City"

22) Beyoncé - "1+1"

21) The Mountain Goats - "Damn These Vampires"

20) Shabazz Palaces - "Swerve... the reeping of all that is worthwhile (noir not withstanding)"

19) Walk the Moon - "Lisa Baby"

18) Toro y Moi - All Alone

17) JAY Z and Kanye West - "Niggas in Paris"

16) Lana Del Rey - "Video Games"

15) Beyoncé - "Countdown"

14) Smith Westerns - "Weekend"

13) Cults - "Oh My God"

12) Rihanna feat. Calvin Harris - "We Found Love"

11) Chris Brown feat. Busta Rhymes, Lil Wayne - "Look At Me Now"

10) The Weeknd - "The Morning"

9) Girls - "Alex"

8) Frank Ocean - "Novacane"

7) St. Vincent - "Surgeon"

6) Fleet Foxes - "Helplessness Blues"

5) WU LYF - "We Bros"

4) Adele - "Rolling in the Deep (Jamie xx remix) (feat. Childish Gambino)

3) St. Vincent - "Cruel"

2) Drake - "Under Ground Kings"

1) tUnE-yArDs - "Bizness"

IBS's Best of 2011: Top 10 Album Covers

10) Coldplay - Mylo Xyloto - I'm not actually a big fan of Coldplay — especially not album — and I kind of hate the title, which literally means nothing, but... Wait, why did I pick this one? Eh, it's kinda pretty and I like it.

9) Chiddy Bang - Peanut Butter and Swelly - This album cover looks like something I would make. That is, it includes peanut butter sandwiches and puns. That's really all I need.

8) Mogwai - Hardcore Will Never Die, But You Will - They really could've arranged these words any way they wanted on the cover, and I would have put it on this list.

7) Washed Out - Within and Without - This picture comes from a Cosmo article titled, "Is This the Most Satisfying Sexual Position?" so I'm not sure what else I need to write here.

6) Tyler, The Creator - Goblin - This was actually the deluxe version, technically, but I think of it as the main album cover. It's classic, yet fresh. If they were aiming for simple and effective pop art, they hit it on the head.

5) Cut Copy - Zonoscope - Maybe it's the fact that it reminds me of "The Day After Tomorrow" (which I apparently kind of liked for some reason?) or maybe it's because I have a T-shirt with this design on it, but I really like this cover, whatever the reasoning.

4) Battles - Gloss Drop - Whenever I see this, I think of Big League Chew, which is awesome. So, by transitive property, this album cover is also awesome.

3) We Were Promised Jetpacks - In the Pit of the Stomach - I really wanna love this Scottish group because of their amazing band name, but, like real jet packs, they've kind of let me down. But they made up for it a little bit with this cool cover.

2) Mastodon - The Hunter - I've never actually listened to Mastodon, and now I'm not going to because there's no way in hell it could live up to this epic album cover.

1) Iron & Wine - Kiss Each Other Clean - This one reminds me of a picture you would design with something you bought off an informercial. I guess I just really like albums with lots of bright colors on the cover, which I suppose is a side affect when you're this secure in your masculinity.

IBS's Best of 2011: Top 15 Concerts

Music festivals kind of throw a wrench in the whole "best concerts" thing, so I'm going to do my list based on individual sets, regardless of opener or whatever. This was definitely a tough list to narrow down — 2011 has been my best year for concerts by a mile; Nos. 1-8 were some of the best shows I've ever been to — but here they are. The 15 best concert sets I witnessed in the past year:


15) Cut Copy @ Pitchfork Festival - I really hope to catch these guys at a non-festival venue some time soon because their endless output of energy would be a blast to catch in a dark, dance-friendly setting.

14) Fitz and the Tantrums @ Roots N Blues N BBQ Festival - Speaking of dance-friendly, this show was a blast. It was great to see a fun show outdoors in my college town — and with a great handful of friends, no less.

IBS's Best of 2011: Top 15 Music Videos

Let the lists begin! Welcome back to another season of end-of-year lists here at Isaac Bruce Springsteen. To kick it all off, we've got a new installment: Top 15 Music Videos! I'm not a religious music video-watcher or anything, but these were some of my favorites from the past year. And yes, this list was really just an excuse for me to stare at Annie Clark, Lana Del Rey and Beyoncé some more.


15) "Rebecca Black - "Friday" - Hold on, let me state my case. The grading of a music video technically has nothing to do with the quality of the song, so throw that argument out the window (back or front, it doesn't matter). This 2011 landmark daringly plunged further than any prior work into the deep, unexplored conflicts of weekend seat-choosing. But really, in a millenium where music videos have become anything but necessity, this was a video that everyone saw and that, after the initial shitstorm of hatred was flung, sort of united people in a big, viral what-the-fuck smile. And for accomplishing that while kindly making every other music vid look great in comparison, we honor you Rebecca. (Fun Fact: "Friday" was my most-played song of 2011 because one day I just listened to it on repeat until I learned all the words, rap included, under the assumption it was gonna help me pick up chicks or something.)

Buzzer Beaters [11/20/11]

last-second thoughts on recent sports ongoings

(just throwing 'em up there)

• I'm gonna ramble on about Penn State for a bit. Obviously, everything that's gone down at Penn State is utterly disgusting. The acts were disgusting, the organization's reactions to the acts were disgusting, and the students' reactions to the organization's reactions to the acts (phew) were disgusting. The children who were abused deserve all the sympathy and prayers and help in the world. But please, don't for one second think this isn't about sports. It is. True, an old, fucked-up man raping little boys has nothing to do with sports, and no, I don't think — at least I hope; who knows, in light of the new Syracuse scandal — that this is reflective of a hidden culture in college sports (However, I think it is indicative of collegiate sports's impulse to hide anything defamatory, regardless of severity.). Regardless, it is still about sports. You wouldn't have heard about this (alleged) rapist, much less know him by name if he wasn't coaching under one of the most revered figures in the history of college, ahem, sports. The fact is, kids get raped every day. It's a sick world. So if this instigates a spark in you to support the cause of child abuse, great. I hope you do. But don't act all surprised and offended when the first question that some sleezebag reporter asks after the scandal breaks the surface is, "Who's coaching on Saturday?"

Why baseball is not boring: The cathartic ramblings of a lifelong hardball fanatic

It was cold, it was wet, and it was suposed to be the climactic moment of my sports fandom. It was my first Cardinals opening day. And I was bored. Why? Because baseball can be boring.

Part of me thought it was because it was cold. Maybe I would have been enjoying it more if I wasn't shivering the whole time, but still... Why was I so bored? We were winning most of the game, only to blow it in the ninth, but none of that should've even mattered. It was opening freaking day. For my St. Louis freaking Cardinals.

Now let's jump forward, shall we, to another opening day (kinda): the opening game of the World Series. Somehow my dad was able to score tickets (Parking: $30. Assorted World Series memorabilia: $150. Seeing the Cards in the World Series: Priceless. No seriously, my dad somehow got free tickets. Considering he works with Energizer, I'm sticking with the story that he threw batteries at someone until they gave him their tix.). And even if this had been the most boring game ever (which one could argue it kind of was), it still couldn't have been boring. It wasn't the miraculous Game Six — possibly/probably the greatest finish to any sports game I've ever witnessed — or the clinching Game Seven. It wasn't making the playoffs on the last day of the season or watching Albert Pujols hit three bombs. But it was my team in the World Series, and it was a perfect microcosm of why baseball is great, why I shouldn't have been bored at opening day. Why? Hold your Clydesdales, I'm getting there.

RECAP: LouFest Music Festival 2011

OK, so let's just forget the fact that this music festival took place at the end of August. All right? Can we kick that elephant out of the room? OK, good.

Now, where was I? Oh, right. LouFest! It's a two-day festival in Forest Park in downtown St. Louis. Now, as a St. Louis native, I'm used to the ol' STL sucking at pretty much anything and everything that isn't baseball or murder rate, so naturally I was excited to hear a legit music festival was coming to town. Last year, the festival boasted She & Him, Titus Andronicus and Wilco's Jeff Tweedy, among others. I didn't attend due to being all obsessed with my newfound college freedom and whatnot. But this year, I decided not to miss it — thanks in part to an even stronger lineup. So some friends and I decided to pack up and take the two-hour drive to the Lou, where we found a pretty damn idyllic music festival.

FACE OFF: "Hallelujah"

Welcome to FACE OFF, where you are the Judge Judy and executioner.

It's time for some FACE OFF, and what better way to come back from a recess than with a six seven-entry contest? This week's a little bit different; rather than just doing songs with the same title, we're doing version of the song "Hallelujah." It's a famous song that's been covered a gajillion times, and it seems like everyone has their favorite version. There's Leonard Cohen's, the original; John Cale's, the one from Shrek; Rufus Wainwright's, the one from the Shrek soundtrack; Brandi Carlile's, my favorite; k.d. lang's, the one by the Canadian lesbian lady who looks like a dude and Jeff Buckley's, the one by Jeff Buckley. Which is your favorite? (The Brandi Carlile stream isn't big because it's my favorite but because I couldn't find it on YouTube and it's my favorite.)

If you've got another suggestion, just let me know, and I'll add it in. Vote in the poll on the left!


Jeff Buckley

John Cale

Brandi Carlile
Brandi Carlile: "Hallelujah" (Live at KCRW.com)
Leonard Cohen

k.d. lang

Rufus Wainwright

Added: Alexandra Burke

Guess who's back?

No silly, it's not Slim Shady. It's me, your fourth-favorite consistently inconsistent music/sports fusion blogger. I won't go into the details of my absence other than to blame the three plagues of temporary wirelesslessness, school starting and general laziness — and most definitely not in that order. So, to make it up to you I'm gonna shove lots and lots of content down your throats this next week or so and keep a steady flow after that.

For example, look out for some (three) concert reviews, that once-promised favorite albums list, a potentially jaded ode to baseball, some fresh FACE OFFs, and a really overdue recap of LouFest. As you will soon see, I'm taking the approach of "better super duper freaking late than never."

Oh, and I have been writing some. You can check out my column How to Dance Real Slow here and here and here and here and here and here and here and here as well as my review of Girls's new album, my coverage of Columbia's Roots N Blues N BBQ Festival, and my profile on the band Sleeper Agent.

It's good to be back.

A Complicated Isaac Bruce Springsteen Tale: Favorite Kanye Songs

IBS's LIST-SERVE is teaming up with my friend's blog A Complicated Viking Tale... to give our readers our lists of all-time favorite stuff. Next week, you can look out for our list of all-time favorite 25 albums and 10 songs. But to get you guys started off, we're giving you a little free sample: our top five Kanye West songs. I think I've waxed poetic enough about this critically-acclaimed gregarious asshole of a mama's boy, so I'll just let you check out my list below. You can find Joel's list here.

FACE OFF: "Express Yourself"

Welcome to FACE OFF, where you are the judge, jury and executioner.

So, I'm out of town (OMG WHY IS THE WORLD NOT WI-FI YET?), but that doesn't mean I'm gonna stop posting poor excuses for blog posts. Which means, another week of FACE OFF. (If you guys are getting sick of these, please let me know. But, at least three people have given me FACE OFF suggestions, meaning at least three people are reading these, which is three more than any other posts.) Last week Fleet Foxes snapped Styx (bad pun alert) like a twig, seven to three. This week it's Madonna versus Charles Wright versus N.W.A. (That's right, three songs!). If you're like me, you probably have no idea who Charles Wright is (apparently he didn't fly the first airplane...), but I'm sure you've heard this song. It was then sampled heavily for a track of the same name by N.W.A., who you might know if you're not white or if you wish you weren't. You've probably heard of Madonna. She had a lot of hits, but if you ask me, this one sounds like a rip-off of Lady Gaga... You know the deal (maybe). Listen below and vote on the poll at the right.

"Express Yourself" — Charles Wright

"Express Yourself" — N.W.A.

"Express Yourself" — Madonna

RESULTS: CHARLES WRIGHT: 4, N.W.A.: 3, MADONNA: 3

LIST-SERVE: Top Ten Reasons I'm Glad Football's Back

The things you can do with PowerPoint...

In case you haven't heard, football's back. That's right. The four-month NFL lockout has finally come to an end. And I don't know about you, but I can't wait for football season. Here are my top ten reasons I'm glad the NFL is back.

FACE OFF: "Lorelei"

Welcome to FACE OFF, where you are the judge, jury and executioner.

I went to a Styx concert last night (my second, I'm not ashamed to admit), and last week I went to a Fleet Foxes concert. So... this seems inevitable. Yes, they are spelled different. Nonetheless, this week's FACE OFF is an arena/folk rock showdown between Styx's "Lorelei" and Fleet Foxes' "Lorelai."Listen below, decide on your favorite, and then vote on the poll to the right. Oh, and congrats to underdog Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch on taking down The Beach Boys last week, five votes to four. Those numbers are just shooting up, aren't they?

"Lorelei" — Styx

"Lorelai" — Fleet Foxes


RESULTS: FLEET FOXES: 7, STYX: 3 

RECAP: Pitchfork Music Festival 2011

Last weekend, three friends and I trekked up to the Windy City to check out Pitchfork Musical Festival: three days, three stages and 45 Pitchfork.com-approved bands in Chicago's Union Park. This was my first experience with a music festival (unless you count Ribfest), as my parents thwarted my attempts to attend Lollapalooza, also in Chi-town, last summer. But this year, with guilt, friends and free housing on my side, I was able to convince those fun-ruiners to let me go to a music festival. Based on lineups and vacation/summer school dates, Forkfest was the choice. Now that the whirlwind weekend is over, here is the recap of my personal experience at Pitchfork Festival 2011. Let the fun begin.

FACE OFF: "Good Vibrations"

Welcome to FACE OFF, where you are the judge, jury and executioner.

Okay, so I've found a lot of same-title songs that I wanna use on FACE OFF, so we're just gonna ride that theme out until I've got nothing left. Last week, Kelly Clarkson inexplicably took down Ne-Yo with her version of "Miss Independent." (C'mon, guys, seriously? Those Ne-Yo synths are just glorious.) This week, we stick two classics in the ring and let them battle to the blog-poll death: The Beach Boys' and Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch's "Good Vibrations. It's surfer dudes versus Entourage dudes. Listen, vote on the side, and say hello to your mother for me.

"Good Vibrations" — The Beach Boys

"Good Vibrations" — Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch

RESULTS: MARKY MARK AND THE FUNKY BUNCH: 5, BEACH BOYS: 4

WAAHHHHHHHHHHHMMMM, or: How I learned to stop running and hate dubstep

What do the holocaust and running have in common? They both make you skinny, and they both suck. I hate running like Elmer Fudd hates the letter R. Okay, hate is a strong word, but I really really really don't like running. But I still make myself do it because I equally hate being fat.

So, when summer vacation arrived, I decided to appease my half-asleep metabolism and intensify my preexisting running schedule. But first, I needed a playlist. I was sick of running while listening to songs I'd already heard dozens of times, so I decided to stock my running iPod (good thing we had to get an iPod Touch for journalism school, huh?) with some upbeat, energizing music that had gone previously untouched by my scroll wheel: dubstep.

FACE OFF: "Miss Independent"

Welcome to FACE OFF, where you are the judge, jury and executioner. 

For the month of July, we're gonna stick with the theme of songs with the same title. (Yes, technically the first post was in June, but the week of voting was in July, so stop being so mean.) Last week, The Bee Gees' love was clearly deeper (and by clearly, I mean four votes to two) than The Rapture's as they took the inaugural Face Off victory. This week, we pit two "Miss Independent"s against one another, and with Independence Day in recent memory, why not? It's Kelly Clarkson vs. Ne-Yo. The poll's on the right. Go!

"Miss Independent" — Kelly Clarkson

"Miss Independent" — Ne-Yo

RESULTS: KELLY CLARKSON: 6, NE-YO: 3

Michael Jordan is stupid, and that's kind of okay

Last Thursday, there was an article on Deadspin about the discovery of a letter written by 18-year-old Michael Jordan to his high school sweetheart. The letter was written atrociously, containing sentences like "I know that you feelings was hurt whenever I loss my necklace or had it stolen." and "Everyone think you are a very pretty young lady and I had to agree because it is very true." It was both poorly written and rather egotistical.

If I were to guess from this letter (perhaps employing a little bit of eisegesis), little MJ wasn't the brightest crayon in the high school box. Yet, look at him today: He sports a Hitler 'stache without condemnation, stars on Hanes commercials inexplicably located on airplanes, and, oh yeah, he's retired from being the indisputable greatest at what he did (which, I hope I don't have to tell you, was play basketball). In other words, he did all right, despite being incapable of constructing proper verbs at the age of 18.
Now, take a blogospherical Segway with me to the present-day debate of whether or not collegiate athletes should get paid. If taken, this step would essentially eliminate the already frailly secured title of "student-athlete." Athletic directors love to shove it down the world's throat that these college-aged individuals are students first and athletes second. Yet, we all are under the impression that most of them are focused solely on sports and get favorable treatment in academia. And we're totally fine with that — mostly because of this argument: They're going to college to prepare themselves for their careers, and sports is their field of study. This is why it doesn't matter that Michael Jordan is (or at least was) stupid. A college-aged future MJ needs to be smart (at least outside of knowing how to manage his forthcoming extravagant finances) as much as I need to know how to dunk. It'd sure be nice if I could, but it's not gonna affect my non-dunk-related career path.

2011.5

So 2011 is halfway over, and here are my favorite albums that have been released so far.

Yuck —Yuck
Helplessness Blues —Fleet Foxes
w h o k i l l —tUnE-yArDs
Zonoscope —Cut Copy
Tomboy —Panda Bear
James Blake —James Blake
Underneath the Pine —Toro y Moi
Dye It Blonde —Smith Westerns
Burst Apart —The Antlers
Nostalgia, Ultra —Frank Ocean
Kiss Each Other Clean —Iron & Wine

I'm probably missing something, and I still really really really need to listen to Bon Iver, Bon Iver, but yeah, check these out and have a good second half of the year.

"All Die Young" —Smith Westerns

FACE OFF: "How Deep Is Your Love"

Welcome to FACE OFF, where you are the judge, jury and executioner. 

This week we pair two songs with the exact same titles: "How Deep Is Your Love" by the Bee Gees and "How Deep Is Your Love" by The Rapture. Listen below and vote to the right. You have a week to determine a winner. Go!

"How Deep Is Your Love" — The Bee Gees

"How Deep Is Your Love" — The Rapture

RESULTS: THE BEE GEES: 4, THE RAPTURE: 2

LIST-SERVE: Top Summer Albums

Summer is officially here! And along with swimming, tanning and skin cancer comes the first installment of LIST-SERVE, the newest segment here at Isaac Bruce Springsteen. Basically, it's just an excuse for me to give you lists year-round rather than just at the end of the calendar. Excited? You better be.

Top BBQ Album: Sublime by Sublime - You'd be hard-pressed to find a summer-album list without this classic on it. So I'll just start with it and save you the suspense. The ideal mix of Jamaican reggae with U.S. alternative rock, Sublime is really all you need when the burgers are on the grill and you're in the pool. And if it's a family barbecue with people who'd frown upon lyrics like "Don't fuck around with my dog," feel free to throw on some John Cougar.

Top Luau Album: E Ala E by Israel Kamakawiwo'ole - Better known as IZ and even better known as that fat Hawaiian dude who did that cover of "Somewhere Over The Rainbow," Israel Kamakawiwo'ole is pretty much the master of Hawaiian ukelele jams. I don't know if this is actually his best album, but this is the one my parents got when they went to Hawaii for their 10-year anniversary, and it serves as a perfect, chilled-out backdrop for any luau, be it in Maui or Missouri.

Top Night-Driving Album: Frengers by Mew - I don't really know what it is about this album, but it just sounds freaking epic while driving around at night. It's like the acoustics were purposely designed to sound better with the windows down. If you've ever got some time to burn after sundown before you head out partying, just throw this on and drive around for a while. You won't regret it.

Top Late-Night Driving Album: Nostalgia, Ultra by Frank Ocean - I don't know about you, but whenever it's really really late and I'm driving, I always feel like turning on some smooth R&B. Frank's surely got that smoothness, but he's also got the catchy and fun factors that make this even more of a summertime classic. Plus, with a last name like Ocean, he kind of gets the benefit of the doubt here. (Honorable Mention: House of Balloons by The Weeknd.)

The night the Big Man left the building

          Clarence Clemons (1942-2011)

"Shouldn't we get going?"

The concert was supposed to start soon. We were eating dinner at some downtown restaurant. I had long finished my burger, and the adults had cleared everything but their drinks, which did very little to halt the conversation. I honestly have idea who most of them were, but I assume they were with Adrienne. Adrienne was my mom's friend from her early working days.

If anyone knew anything about Springsteen concerts, it was Adrienne. As a self-professed Boss lover, she had been to more Bruce concerts than she could count. She housed a larger-than-life Springsteen vinyl in her Atlanta home.  She used to live near Clarence and would frequently say hello at their supermarket. She even applied once to work as Mr. Clemons' assistant.

We were fine, Adrienne said. Bruce always starts late.

I couldn't believe how right she was. We finally left what felt like a half hour later and still had time to get to our seats with time to spare. My dad snuck out and got tour shirts for me and my mom. My mom's read, "Tramps like us, baby we were born to run." I don't think she's ever had the balls to wear it in public. Mine was a bluish gray tour shirt that, we quickly noticed, forgot to mention the St. Louis stop on the back. Oh well. The concert was about to start.

Buzzer Beaters [6/13/11]

last-second thoughts on recent sports ongoings

(just throwing 'em up there)

• Okay, never mind. Fuck LeBron. Well I go and defend your ass, and what do you do, LeBron? You go and post horrendous numbers in the fourth quarter of every game of the NBA Finals (okay, so he put up 7 points in the fourth quarter of Game Six; whatever). I can deal with you ditching Cleveland, I can deal with you being an arrogant asshole, and I can deal with you mocking Dirk. But what I cannot deal with is you ruining my blog post. 

  

  Yo, Dwyane. I think I really hurt Brandon's feelings.

  I defended you, Bron Bron. And this is how you repay me? That, said, is it possible this could be a positive for LeBron's image in the long run? By losing in such pathetic fashion, he got what he "deserved" for the Decision. The haters got what they wanted, and they can now celebrate (which they obviously are). Maybe next year we'll see a humbled LeBron, who essentially served his time and punishment by losing this year, and everyone will forgive and forget. Eh, I doubt it. A) I can't really see LeBron ever being humble (not that this is necessarily a reason to hate his guts; pro athletes are not typically a humble breed), and B) I can't really see people not hating him. It's just too much fun.
• And another thing about the NBA Finals: Why does Dwyane Wade get so little criticism? He scored less points than LeBron in Game Six. He's the one who seemingly initiated the mocking of Dirk Nowitzki (which, I must say, was all rather overblown). Yet, he doesn't get any of the heat (sorry). The way I see it, from now on, this needs to be LeBron's team. Sure, Bron Bron sucked it up this series, but if Dwyane Wade is really one of the best players in the league, he should have been able to take over and get the Heat those close wins, especially when he has Chris Bosh and LeBron James — who, even at his worst, is a tool that should be easy to utilize — on his team. So, I think James needs to take lead. He needs to function as the Big One if the Big Three are to succeed. Sure, he can pass to Bosh if he's open in a clutch situation, and he totally should, but he needs to be in command. This whole divided leadership thing seems like it's too confusing and too chemistry-dissolving for these guys. I don't know if a team can operate when the supposed best player in the league is the second-most important player on the team (Also, LeBron needs to learn how to post up if he's going to truly be the best player in the league.). That said, I don't know if the Heat (including Wade himself) are willing to take Wade out of the driver's seat. 

A Gaye old time

I'm sitting in my bed, doing everything and anything except what I actually should be doing: going to bed. I'm scrolling through my iTunes. I decide to start listening to Marvin Gaye. My previous explorations of the catalogue of the esteemed Gaye have been limited to "What's Going On," "Mercy Mercy Me (The Ecology)," "Ain't No Mountain High Enough" and "Let's Get It On." In other words, perfect songs. Even the Christmas song "Purple Snowflakes," the only other Gaye song I can remember hearing, is really, really good. I've been reluctant to listen to any more music by Gaye. Although I've heard nothing but good, nay fantastic, things about him, I feel like no other songs can live up to those four errorless numbers. I start listening to What's Going On (the album). I'm not devoting a fair amount of attention to the music. I'm too busy thinking about friends and the seemingly unavoidable changes, both good and bad, that will arise next year. The music is mere backtracking; I pay no attention. The only opinion I have formed is that it does not live up to the Gaye I've heard before. Then again, how could it — especially with the haphazard way I'm digesting the new material? Suddenly, a chord strikes. Now, I hate to say that something is "too good for words" or to say "I don't know how to describe it..." because I feel that as an aspiring writer, I should be able to put almost anything into words. Regardless, a chord was struck, and I cannot describe what I felt. There was a striking sense of uncertainty, yet at the same time, bliss. Somehow, for the four beats that chord was held, I felt that everything was all right; friends will go, and friendships will change, but it's somehow all just another step in the ever-evolving beauty of what's going on.

Sit on your ass and watch Bron Bron

I was watching the first game of the NBA Finals last night with my dad. The third quarter was ending, and the Heat had the ball with a small lead and a quickly evaporating clock. As the buzzer rang, LeBron James chucked up an off-kilter three, resulting in a violent, almost angry swish.

"How did I know he was going to make that?" I asked my dad after we both chuckled at James' ridiculous swag level. 

Simply put, LeBron James is an absolute joy to watch, especially in his current playoff mode. He makes shots that just should not be made. (Sure, so does Dirk, but LeBron looks way less silly doing it.) He's a force to be reckoned with when rebounding, passing or defending, not to mention at the back end of an alley-oop. He's clearly claimed the status as best player in the league (you don't hear that Kobe/LeBron debate anymore), and he only seems to be getting better.

So why do we all hate this guy?

Three reasons:

1) The Decision - I've already made my stance on this issue known: The Decision (note the capital "D") was an absolute debacle and the obvious origin of the Bron Bron hatred. However, the actual decision to go to Miami was far from reprehensible. Nonetheless, the whole thing came off horribly.

2) He's good - Haters gon' hate. And when the hatee continues to succeed, haters gon' hate even more.

3) He knows he's good - The Decision was kind of LeBron saying, "I'm great. I know it. I know you know it. And now you know that I know you know it." It was kind of like Quentin Tarantino calling Inglourious Basterds his "masterpiece" through Brad Pitt's character or Kanye West putting the word "beautiful" in the title of his beautiful album. They're all right: LeBron's a stud and Inglourious Basterds and My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy were both dope. That doesn't mean we had to be told so.

These are the reasons America now hates LeBron, but are they justifications? Is being a dick— in really only one major instance, mind you — a reason to hate a otherwise clean guy? He hasn't had a rape charge like Kobe. He hasn't even had the gambling issues like Michael (Hell, MJ's even a little bit of a dick. Just look at that Hitler 'stache.). Not to mention the STDs of Magic, but we won't go there. Is an overbearing example of narcissism really enough to condemn this guy?

Did we not want Lebron to be the next Jordan? If not, why did we place all the hype in the world on his shoulders when he was in high school? Sure, he hasn't won a ring yet, but he took a crappy franchise to the Finals, he's put up the individual numbers, and he looks like he'll be able to grab himself a handful of rings in Miami if all goes well. And all has gone well so far in South Beach. As many struggles as the team faced in the first year of the Big Three, they've done all that mattered: make the playoffs and win in the playoffs. LeBron (and co.) has done what was expected.

But apparently that's not enough. LeBron still appears to have a Palin-esque approval rating, getting booed like a mofo at every road game. I say, let's give the guy a break. He deserved some flack for the whole beginning-of-year ordeal, but he's more than gotten past that now.

Being a St. Louis resident, my go-to NBA squad is the Bulls, partly because I worshipped MJ as a little kid and partly because I love the city of Chicago but hate every other team that plays there (Cubs are Cardinals' rivals, Bears are Packers' rivals, Blackhawks are Blues' rivals, White Sox... have Ozzie Guillen?). So I actually was rooting pretty hard against the Heat in the Eastern Conference Finals, considering I once again had a stake in the NBA playoffs. Yet, watching the Finals I find it hard to hate on LeBron too much: He's just too fun to watch. I say we embrace Bron Bron. Why deny ourselves the pleasure of enjoying one of sports' greatest current treasures? I'm sure the nation will eventually come around. I can't think of a player who was universally considered "the best" and almost universally hated for an extended period of time (save Barry Bonds). But in the meantime, here's some other people in the Heat organization towards whom you can aim your hatred:

Extreme Makeover: The Blog Edition

Welcome to the new BFOSTER91.BLOGSPOT.COM. That's right, I just went Prince on all your asses. Here it is, The Blog Formerly Known As Headbanging Linebackers. Or, more simply, Isaac Bruce Springsteen. This name change just seems obvious, and I wish I'd thought of it before. Isaac Bruce is my favorite football player, Bruce Springsteen is my favorite musician, this blog is about music and sports, and, with a little Wheel of Fortune before-and-after magic, a new blog title appeared. Along with this new name comes a new look and a little bit of a switchup in coverage. In the fall, I will be the pop culture (with an emphasis on music) columnist for MOVE magazine. This means that most of my efforts in regards to music commentary will be going toward a weekly column for MOVE. Therefore, my music coverage here will be more of a frequently updated, short post kind of deal, as opposed to the lengthy, spaced-out, column-esque posts of the past. Then again, if I have a super-long column that won't fit in MOVE, you can expect to see it here. As for sports, expect just more commentary in general, especially of this same frequent, short-burst variety. Either way, it's spring, and it's a time for renewal here at Isaac Bruce Springsteen (or IBS for short — isn't that nice?). Expect new, fresh and frequent coverage of all things music and sports. And this time, I mean it.

"Bowers" (Remake of "Power" by Kanye West)

Hey look: music AND sports. Me and my friend re-wrote "Power" to be about Mizzou power forward Laurence Bowers (the greatest human living besides Charlie Sheen). Enjoy.

Rage Against "The Machine" Leaving

The St. Louis Cardinals recently failed to re-sign Albert Pujols by his self-induced spring training deadline. They ludicrously offered a salary in the top 10 of MLB salaries but not in the top five. Albert created the deadline to keep the focus on baseball, not salary talk, during the season. He actually did the opposite. I don't know if that was just a mistake on his part or why the club offered so little. As a diehard and lifelong Cardinals fan, I do know this:

First off: I want them to re-sign Pujols NO MATTER WHAT. Give him $300 million. Give him ownership stake in the franchise. Give him the fucking Arch and half of the Mississippi River, goddammit. I DON'T CARE. They just have to re-sign the man. He has meant everything to Redbird Nation these past ten years, quickly progressing from haha-did-you-hear-the-name-of-that-new-rookie status to holy-shit-this-guy-is-legit-fucking-retire-Barry-Bonds-so-he-can-get-his-goddamn-MVP and there's-God-and-then-there's-Albert-and-not-necessarily-in-that-order acclaim.

Second: It probably won't be worth it. This guy is asking for a ten-year deal, which would end when he is 41 years old. In other words, 52 in Domincan Republic years. That's just a joke, but honestly it is a real possibility that this guy is older than he says he is. Look at Miguel Tejada. Or Akon. José Alberto matured mucho rápido, and for all GM John Mozeliak knows, he could end up with Chris Chelios at the end of this deal (Non-puckheads: Chris Chelios is really old. He went to college with my dad. He also just retired.). Even if Albert is only 31 — which is not exactly "only" in baseball years if you're not Barry Bonds or Big Papi, both of whom were on steroids — the money it would take to keep him would probably decimate the Cardinals' budget for the next decade. They already have Matt Holiday tied up, and with lotsa dollaz being spent on not-so-lotsa playaz, team depth would probably be compromised — and it's not like St. Louis has a great farm system to fall back on. In other words, the club would probably have to capitalize on its solid core in the next few years if it were to collect another World Series trophy in the '10s.

REVIEW: "Kiss Each Other Clean" - Iron & Wine

I know I said I wasn't gonna post reviews here anymore, but I wrote one for a newspaper, and it turned out they assigned it to two people or something like that. So here's my review of Iron & Wine's latest, "Kiss Each Other Clean."

When it comes to beards and folk music, Sam Beam’s supremacy is about as unquestionable as the president of Egypt’s (don’t do it, you’ll lose your Internet). [I wrote this before Hosni Mubarak gave any indication of stepping down. It wasn't funny then either.]

The Iron & Wine frontman has had the homeless-musician shtick down pat since releasing The Creek Drank the Cradle in 2002. Be it the sparseness of his debut or the lushness of the acclaimed The Shepherd’s Dog, Beam has an intimacy that could only be heightened if he were to whisper into his microphone.

Kiss Each Other Clean, Iron & Wine’s latest album, takes a whole new direction. Beam’s delivery, while more spread out, is esquisite as always, but at times it’s no more Mr. Nice Beard: “And it’s looking like you better do what they say. / Those monkeys uptown, they told you not to fuck around.” The most noticeable difference with this record (besides the presence of thug chimpanzees, of course) is its instrumentation. Rather than primarily using acoustic guitar, there is an influx of marimba, synth, tribal percussion, saxophone and flute — as if someone gave Beam a big gift card to his local music store for Christmas.

Along with a new sound, Kiss tries on a new style; there are distinct elements of jazz coloring the album. Usually more production is looked at with disdain, but when the starting point is as low-key as Iron & Wine, production can be added without having the result sound like Ke$ha. The funky foundation is a strange turn for Beam, but when he’s at his best here, it’s certainly a sight to see (or hear). It’s kind of like in movies when the shy girl gets a new haircut and takes off her glasses. She was really pretty before, but now… Damn.

Beam hasn’t shaved, but his new look is quite stunning — not as a standalone gem, but as a tantalizing step in a new direction.

4 out of 5

Why I'm a better sports fan and all-around bigger idiot than you

Okay, so I didn't watch the AFC Championship Game. But I'm still a better sports fan than you. Why? I just took a shower. IN MY BRETT FAVRE JERSEY.

Why? Because the Packers are going to Super Bowl XLV, and I love to do ridiculous challenges for no apparent reason (milk-gallon challenge, saltine challenge while driving, etc.). So this children's medium jersey that I got for Christmas circa 1996 is staying on until the completion of the big game.

That's why I'm a better sports fan than you: I'm sacrificing cleanliness, friends, sex (Just kidding, I usually have sex with my jersey on anyway. Dick pics work, people.), swimming, and sun-tanning for the next two weeks. And the Packers are my SECOND-FAVORITE TEAM. The Rams are actually my favorite NFL team.

My dad is from Wisconsin, so in the first four-ish years of my life when the Rams were still in Los Angeles and the Cardinals were long gone, I was brain-washed as a cheesehead. And it sure helped that when the Rams came to St. Louis, they sucked with the suckiness of 1000 Orecks (fuck you, Tony Banks) while the Packers reached back-to-back Super Bowls. Yet, when they play, I have to pull for my hometown squad. So, I'm suffering through mesh-induced nipple chafings for 14 days for my second-favorite team. That's like paying for dinner when you go out with your second-favorite girlfriend. (Sorry, that's a ridiculous comparison. Why the hell would you ever pay for your girlfriend?)

And let me tell you what, I SMELL GREAT. Sure I showered with Scope and dried off with cologne, but I've yet to hear any complaints (maybe because I haven't left my room...) — and I just ran two miles, did an ab workout, and played racquetball in this enduring piece of childhood.

That's why I'm a better sports fan than you. As a friend pointed out, I'm quite literally putting the team on my back. And you're not.

At least, for the sake of your sanity, hygiene, friends, nostrils, and sun-tanning schedule, I hope you're not. GO PACK GO.

Spusic and Morts

I don't really know how to start this post. Possibly by breaking the ice by breaking the fourth wall. If you acknowledge breaking the fourth wall, are you breaking the fifth wall? Maybe by apologizing for not blogging in a while. I honestly should have written this over two months ago. Maybe I'll just try to be funny instead of actually coming up with a smart lead. When did Jim Gaffigan start narrating my blog?

Seriously, how does one begin writing about everything? Because that is what this post is about—at least, everything this blog is about: music and sports. That's only two things. (Shut up, Jim.) That's right boys and girls, it's the first-ever music AND sports post! So I guess I'll just start with the obvious: The Best Weekend Ever.

I suppose the seeds of this weekend's greatness were planted last spring. My friend Joel and I wanted to go to Lollapalooza. We did the research, figured out how much everything would cost and how we would pay for it, and Joel's parents said he could go. Only one thing was standing between us and the greatest road trip of our lives. Actually, it was two very overprotective things: my parents. And I had just the stone needed to take down these fun-opressing Goliaths: a very organized, convincing, visually-pleasing (I'm talking animations and everything) PowerPoint presentation. There was no way they could say no. But, of course, they did. So while Joel and I were recovering from not seeing Arcade Fire, The Strokes, and—most importantly—Lady Gaga, among others, we were consoled by the light at the end of the adolescent tunnel: COLLEGE. Where you don't have to ask your parents to do anything (except pay your tuition, of course). Like go on road trips. We saw that LCD Soundsystem was going on tour, apparently for the last time, and decided that we could not miss it. The closest location was Milwaukee, and goddammit we were going to go. Especially since the opener was Hot Chip. But wait, there's more. The night before that concert, of Montreal was playing in St. Louis with Janelle Monáe opening.