Apple the Apostate (It's a synonym for "traitor." It also rhymes with "prostate.")

So there was this girl at my school. Her name was Lucy Lala. She was like the greatest thing ever, and I was like, why is nobody else trying to get with this girl? So I asked her out. She said yes. I felt like I had the best-kept secret in the world. And things were going great. In fact, I saw no reason for this relationship to ever end. She was flawless.

There was also this guy at my school. His name was Anthony Apple. Anthony was a polarizing guy: some kids loved him, others hated his guts. I fell in the former category. I knew he was a stellar feller. In fact, I'd even defended the guy on multiple occasions.

But then, in an act of extreme selfishness, he stole my girl. He just took her right out of my hands. And then, to add insult to injury, he said I could keep her for a month. And as much I should have been offended, you better believe I'm hitting up Miss Lala all night, every night. I'mma get as much as I can for as long as I can until that fateful day when she'll be gone forever.

Yet, I still can't hate the guy. I mean, at least he's got good taste. And he just has so many redeeming qualities. But I'll never forget how he took my girl. My perfect girl...

I guess I should've realized it was too good to be true.